he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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