3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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