i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
