I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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