aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
