Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
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Do I have a choice?
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I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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