you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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