Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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