What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We don't watch enough power rangers
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My dick has a subreddit
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
