are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
