she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
