Dual....:-)
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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