I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
