If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
