How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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