He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
