if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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