i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
