I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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