3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
