he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
