Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
