That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
