so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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