Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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