theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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