im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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