I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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