she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i think i just lost a toe
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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