I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
