Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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