5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
