tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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