I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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