if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
