You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wish i was in the wii world.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
