Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
