I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
