HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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