She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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