Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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