just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
