No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
