sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
