I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
