ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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