If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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