Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
