I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
