If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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