I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
