so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
