Just fell off a train. Bad.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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