I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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