I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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