i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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