whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
