We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
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