We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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