I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
