I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
