who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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