I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
