He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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