HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
