im about as happy as oj after his trial
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
